Top lies people constantly tell

By , last updated January 23, 2015

There are some pretty interesting discussions on reddit.com sometimes. This time nearly 10 thousand people voted some constant lies they they tell to others. Here is a short list:

1. I don’t need to write that down, I will remember that.

2. “I’ve been really busy.”

The greatest catch all in history. Works in social situations when you have not returned someone’s call/email (Sorry, I’ve been really busy and haven’t had a chance to return your phone call/email.), at the office when I am behind on a project or skipped a meeting (Sorry, I’ve been really busy and have not had a chance to finish up that project), missing birthdays or other special occasions (Sorry, I’ve been really busy, I guess it just slipped my mind), when I am late for something (Sorry, I’ve been really busy, time got away from me), you can mold this phrase into just about any excuse. The best part is that usually people will just give you that understanding nod and sympathize, never following up and asking what you have been busy doing.

Very handy for the lazy procrastinator.

3. Yes, I know what I’m doing.

4. I’ll do it tomorrow!

5. Every night 3am: “That’s it, I’m gonna sort my shit out. Get off my butt, Get a better job, get fit, eat healthy, get better grades”. Next morning: amnesia.

Solution : Never sleep, maintain your 3am state of consciousness forever.

6. I’m smart.

7. I am 26 years old.

8. That was my last piece of gum.

9. “I am fine”

10. “I don’t have time for a girlfriend”

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Reality is I just suck at meeting women and I have plenty of time on my hands.

11. I’ll start my essay after one more thread.

12. “I love being on my own.”

Truth is, I suffer from near soul-crushing loneliness, but I don’t trust anyone. Sorta makes clearing the loneliness rough.

13. I am 5’11” 3/4. I say 6 feet.

14. “I will never drink again”

15. “I totally understand.” Bitch, I have no clue what the fuck you mean.

16. “Lol”

17. “It’s very nice to see you again”.

Usually it’s not.

18. “Yeah Fluffy, you’re a good kitty.” Well he’s not. He’s a little shit.

19. How I lost my virginity.

20. “I love you”

The truth is I have no idea what love is. I hear others talk about how they are eager to get off work simply to spend quality time with their wife. I love to hang out with my girlfriend, but the passion and emotion that all other people seem to share isn’t there for me. I don’t love her, I just want her to know that I feel for her all that I know how. The only way to convey that to her is by saying “I love you”

21. “I have read the Terms and Conditions”

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