How to achieve what you want: Verbal communication

By , last updated October 15, 2015

The key

The key to establishing good communication and thus achieving something is the ability to ask good questions. There are two basic types of questions that you could ask: open-ended and closed ended questions. While closed-ended questions are the “bad” ones in this context we’ll concentrate on open-ended ones.

The point of an open-ended question is to make a person think before answering. To do this start with eight words:
– What
– Which
– How
– Who
– When
– Where
– Why
– If

Look at your child! What questions do they ask?

Open-ended questions can be however as harmful as closed-ended, so you need to use a lot of “softeners”:

“Just out of curiosity…”
“By the way…”
“Just offhand…”
“In your view…”
“In your opinion…”

7 ways

A lot of people who are good at communication share their knowledge on the internet. Here I found 7 Ways from an FBI behavior expert:

  1. Ask people about them and their problems, but don’t judge.
  2. Don’t correct people. Everybody make mistakes.
  3. Listen without interrupting. Don’t think about what you are going to say next until they stop or ask you.
  4. Ask people about some advice. People love to give advice.
  5. Tell people you are at urge and have only one minute to talk to them. Don’t let them feel trapped in a conversation with you.
  6. Be aware of your body language – smile and pile up, move your head to the persons eyes.
  7. Be direct with people you don’t like, but not hostile


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